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How To Overcome Jealousy


The root of all jealousy is the fear of losing something or somebody. A jealous spouse is someone who is afraid of losing his other half. There are two emotions that take hold of a jealous husband or wife. They are fear and fear of loss.
1/ One is afraid that someone or something will take what belongs to oneself.
2/ One also does not want to lose.
In other words, what a jealous person is expressing is he or she is afraid, and does not want to lose.

To end the jealousy two things must take place.

The Jealous person must no longer be afraid of the threat or opponent.
He (or she) must be willing to have and not to have the spouse (or things) that he was afraid of losing. Jealousy is also a hold up because it stops one from letting go of someone or something.
One believes that one can not go on or make it (survive) without one’s spouse or other person.
One is jealous or under the influence of jealousy also means one is under the grip of fear and fear of losing. One sees, hears and acts like the jealousy itself. One who is jealous does also believe that he or she owns the other
person.


A jealous person will often say to the other: you are my husband or don’t you know that you are my wife?
Don't you know that you are mine?


The matter becomes worst if the other person does not want to be own.

In those circumstances, a conflict will arise. The other may say:

No, I am not your husband. I do not belong to you. And the dominant character will add:

Yes you do, you are mine.


One should understand that the jealous person is speaking under the influence of jealousy like a motorist who is driving under the influence of alcohol. Truly, if one wants to rid oneself of jealousy, one should first accept that a partnership is not a 100% ownership. From that point, one can take the right steps to free oneself from jealousy.


Jealousy is also a poison that stops one from seeing beyond things in a more rational way.

Jealousy makes one irrational and prone to do regrettable things. Usually, a jealous person underestimates himself because he believes that he can not have better than

what he has now. One also thinks that one will not have all one wants if one lets go of what one has now.


Consequently, that blurring vision can make matters worse than before as one becomes more obsessed with one’s spouse or relationship altogether. One may argue that if one does care about the relationship, one should not let go of it. That is only partially true, but one is not helping the relationship if one becomes jealous or starts harassing the other person. Really to let go does not mean to be careless or change (discard) the relationship.
It means caring more about the other person more than the relationship itself.

Step One To Overcome Jealousy

The first step to free oneself from jealousy is to accept that what one has, one does not own it. That simple realisation will free one’s mind so that one can begin assessing and handling the damages one has done to oneself. The fact is that one is born naked, and all one has, one is just a lease holder.


Everything one has today, it is for a temporary use or benefit. That statement may seems odd to many but the truth is that one has never own anything in this universe.

That exercise or renewal of belief is to develop a new mindset that will free one from the fear of losing.

In fact there is no loss if one sees things from different view points. The loss in fact is a transfer or transformation. A loss is also a separation from a person or something. The only thing one really owns is what one is. Therefore, one can not lose one's spouse if one understands that one never owns her at the first place. In fact, from day one that two people met, they should accept that they could be separated the next day. Indeed to avoid jealousy in any relationship, each partner should accept that the other half does not belong to him or her. As one begin to grant more freedom or liberty to one's spouse, one will begin to gain more freedom from the jealousy.

The biggest question is how much freedom is one willing to grant to the other?
How much liberty is OK for the other to have?
How much freedom have you taken away from the other spouse?
How free were you from jealousy before you met the other?
Those are the questions that will help one to get rid of the hold of jealousy.
How life would be without the grip of jealousy?
Admire how jealous you are, and see how ridiculous it is.

Now, take full responsibility for it. Be certain that you have let yourself into that messy jealousy ring and begin to dismantle it by replacing it with love or something better.

Second Step To Overcome Jealousy

To be free from jealousy, the next step is to confront the fear. That is the fear of what causes one to become jealous at the first place. For a spouse, that cause is the other person that one thought is about to ruin the relationship or marriage. The person one thought is capable of seducing one's spouse. In reality, one is afraid of that person, and one becomes jealous.


The fear is also a hold up force that stops one from achieving greater things in life. If one is afraid of someone, one is overwhelmed by that person to a certain degree.
The trick is to quickly free oneself of that overwhelming force, and detach oneself from what is connecting one to the other. In the case of a wife that is afraid of another woman that is about to take her husband, the connector is the husband.


One may argue that how a loving wife can detach herself from her husband. Nevertheless, the detachment in this case is not physical but mental. Surely, from one's mind, one can do many things that one would not have done in normal conditions. For example, one can jump on top of the Eiffel tower in one's mind.
Apart from doing all kind of crazy things mentally, one can also solve complex challenges.
Alright, that is enough, let us move on.


To detach herself from her spouse the wife will ask the following questions:

1/ What can substitute for a loving husband?
2/ Who can replace a loving husband?
3/ What is the perfect substitute for a loving husband?
4/ What is the alternative to having a loving husband?
5/ What is the opposite of jealousy?
6/ what could you do better than your husband?
7/ how would you feel if you were free from jealousy?
8/ What could you do more if you were free from jealousy?
9/ Talk about somebody who is not jealous?
10/ What would you compare your jealousy to?
11/ Name three nice things that can make you give up jealousy.
12/ See your yourself being bigger than the jealousy.
13/ Admire how ridiculous it is to be jealous.


Many beautiful, loving or beneficial relationships or partnerships went down the drain

just because of jealousy. Crimes have been committed because of jealousy. And in many

cases, men and women have also missed great opportunities in life while they are obsessed with jealousy. Though, those who love or care often become jealous, jealousy

that grows or takes hold of a person to the point where that person becomes almost insane is a real danger. Knowing that the root of all jealousy is the belief that one owns

the other person, one can begin to take control of that negative energy by simply

establishing in one’s mind that one has never owns the other partner. The happiness

of person does not depends on anything or anybody. One will become happier as long

as one can get hold of person, and the same time being free to let the other person go without being too possessive.